A Toast...To Friendship

The sages described friends in words of wisdom clad in poetic metaphor when they said, "Friends are the angels who lift you up when your wings are too tired they forget how to fly". In a casual friendship, such a description may find wanting; and yet, in the long winding and bumpy road of life that tests our mettle, we meet people who fit that depiction to perfection. That kind of friendship survives the test of time and distance for it knows no such boundaries. It is strengthened, not by flawlessness, for no one can live up to such ideal, but in spite of the knowledge of each other's faults and weaknesses. They are the kind of friends who will stand by us, through thick and thin, come hell or high water, who will accept and love us, warts and all, so to speak. When the elusive hand of luck rewards us with such a rare find, we are sanctified, no longer by luck alone but in congruence with destiny wielded by the hand of Him who is the Master of the universe. Such are the friends that blessedly graced our home these last few days from across our border to the north - Canada.

Boy and Annie Navarro have been like blood brother and sister to us and we have, on occasions, visited each other through the years of our friendship that have spanned more than forty years. Those visits, though brief, have always been special and memorable but this last one was extra-special because they brought Annie's sweet younger sister, Celia, and her husband, the witty and hilarious Primo, who became instant friends also. These wonderful set of couples filled our home with the ring of childlike laughter, pleasantly animated conversations, and with the nostalgic ache, ironically punctuated with guileless humor, from reminiscences of a long ago past, of life lived in a distant, half-forgotten world.

That world brought us together - Annie, Cris, and myself. It was in the mid-sixties and the Empire Insurance Company, which was later relocated on Ayala Avenue in Makati, was still housed on the 2nd floor of the imposing Roman Santos Building on Plaza Goiti, in the heart of Manila. I was a young college student who was barely off my teen years and in desperate need of a job. Following a kind neighbor's direction, my search brought me to Empire's doors. Lacking any marketable skill, I knew my chances for landing a job would be slim at best. Although I was favored with an application form that I filled out on the spot, the blunt forewarning of one of the department heads that saw me initially, filled me with a sense of foreboding that bordered on hopelessness. I was told they did not hire females and if they would ever do, it would only be on special circumstances(EOE was unheard of in the country at the time). I scanned the open office area and noted that there were approximately 30 all-male employees except for 1 female - Annie - who was the cashier. After I completed filling out the application form, I was asked to write an abbreviated autobiography, then the crucial part - typing! I was turned over to the Accounting Department that brought me face-to-face for the first time with the guy who would become my husband - Cris. He was the one who administered the typing test that my untrained, inexperienced fingers failed miserably to execute. That the typewriter was an old Underwood did not help my two-finger typing style and after the 10 minute time frame, I was only able to finish copying a few lines from the typing test. Finishing only a few lines from a full-page typing script was bad enough, but for those few lines to be marred by red ink of mistakes was an applicant's nightmare, and I thought, "There goes my chance". But I was told my writing skills, demonstrated on a short autobiographical sketch that I was asked to write, saved me. After a few days, I was asked to go to an office in Makati to undergo an IQ examination, which I did. A week after that, a messenger from the company delivered a most exciting letter. I was hired! The verdict was made after they received the result of my IQ test that placed me on the Superior category. So I guess that qualified me as a special case.

Annie and I, being the only 2 females, became instant friends. She was the one I ran to on my first day when, with the naivete and ignorance of the technological breakthroughs of the time, I was unable to make the Selectric typewriter work. She very graciously left whatever she was doing and came to my aid. On the way to my desk, she asked if I turned on the typewriter and I replied that I did not know I had to turn on anything because I was only familiar with manual typewriters (Duh! It's electric, stupid!). The laughter she was trying to conceal was something her chinky eyes were unable to disguise as they danced with the humor of the situation when she discovered the typewriter was off! Although my discomfiture from my lack of knowledge was apparent, she did not pounce on the opportunity to belittle or humiliate me; rather, she made light of the situation and we ended up both laughing for the nonsense of it all. We would revisit this incident and other comical ones that had occurred during the 8 years we worked together in many recollections of the past that always put a spice to our conversations during our mini-reunions with other previous officemates and friends- Alex, Boy Lizardo, among others. There were many of such amusing experiences during those years of our youth that never failed to bring a healthy dose of hilarity when remembered and re-told. Varied versions of events, that in some cases were embellished to add zing and zest to the story, had emerged depending on whose point of view was being heard at the moment. The Christmas party skit (I think I wrote it) with the "Look, Dick, Look", duet that Annie and I unabashedly belted out in our bold, uninhibited off-key rendition that would have been an embarrassing fiasco had the skit not been a comedy in its intent, was one of those stories. Another one was Alex's adventure with Mr. Avancena's hoarded cheese, or Joe Mabutas' "Eufemia" debacle, or sneaky Annie typing personal letters during business hours that would have caused a roar of disapproval from the powers that be, or the enterprising way I followed the unwritten office dictum of always making oneself busy even during a brown-out. How? I stapled forms together, unstaple them, then re-staple them again - until the lights came on. Other stories continued to flow from our enormous store of long-term memories. We laughed when we recalled how, after lunch, we would scramble inside the company's massive vault to find the best space atop the waist-high filing cabinets along the walls for our siesta. Carrying our "pillows" of phone directories and pages of newspaper for our blanket, we would take our nap until someone rouse us at 1:00 pm. One time, one of the boys came ahead of me and occupied my favorite space in the vault so I went out in the office area, put 3 chairs together in a corner and with my "pillow" and "blanket" took my regular nap. The lights were always turned off during that unofficially declared siesta time but there were lights coming through the glass windows. I was probably asleep for about half an hour and was starting to wake up when I sensed some presence next to me and I heard some faint whispers. I was covered with the newspaper so I could not see what was going on. Then all of a sudden, I heard these wailing noises, like some people were sobbing. Then somebody said, "Oh, Norma, why did you leave us (feigned sobs, controlled laughter)". I threw the newspaper aside and hurriedly got up and the scene that greeted me was maddeningly hilarious. There was a lighted candle on the floor and 4 or 5 of my crazy male officemates were kneeling in front of it pretending to cry, like I was dead and they were mourning my passing. Annie and I would be frequent victims of our mostly male colleagues' antics and those nostalgic recollections would resurface everytime we have the chance to get together.

These are superficial reasons, however, for the bond of friendship that holds us together. Those stories, pleasant and entertaining they may be, are just like the elaborate icing on a cake that gives it a festive flair. In our long-standing relationship, they are an added bonus that never fail to satisfy the emotional palate. But there are deeper and more compelling reasons why our closeness has been strengthened and vigorously flourished through the years. During moments of introspection, I have come to realize that our friendship reflects a healthy glow because there are elements of caring and loving, tolerance and patience, trust, understanding and forgiveness for unintended slights, and that those indispensable factors to a thriving, nurturing personal relationship are keenly cultivated by both sides.

Life is an amalgam of valleys and plateaus, a mixture of highs and lows, a blend of human emotions that range from the euphoria of success to the despair of failure. It can be a merciless ocean that can swallow and maim us to its depths or it can be a gentle breeze of invigorating serenity that brings satisfaction and peace. For no one has a monopoly to life's delights and perfection is never promised. When we are blessed with people in our lives, like Annie and Boy, whose friendship had been refined and tested in the crucible of time, we surely should count ourselves lucky for we are blessed indeed. So, to all who have been served with such a precious gift, let us raise our goblet and propose a special toast...to friendship...for life will be hollow and sadly empty without it!